Do{ula} what? 'Due Date' Recommendations for Parents-to-Be

We always thought that the birth of our first child would be intimate.  Intimate meaning if our child could remember who was in the room in those first moments, it would likely just be us, the medical staff, and a relative or two.  That's why halfway through our pregnancy the suggestion of a Doula must have equated to desperation for support during labor through the eyes of my husband, which couldn't be further from the truth.

I will admit when we first found out we were pregnant flashes of my husband Adam on business calls during my labor were #1 in the nightmare column.  You see my husband loves his job.  And with that the following comes to mind: hard worker, impactful, perseverance, character, accomplished and most importantly, dedicated to building a meaningful legacy and life for our family.  That is why asking him to weigh in on having a person we barely knew by our side during such an intimate time was tough.  In the end though he was mature enough to realize child labor isn't his strong suit and quite frankly, researching it wouldn't be the best use of his time.  Would he be by my side to hold my hand and tell me he loved me?  Yes.  Would he know all the details and steps that take place pre-baby arrival?  No.  And that was how we wanted it.  Hiring our Doula, Vanessa Hamilton-Flood, was hands down the best decision we made regarding our birth plan and here's why:

Babies, like all humans, have a mind of their own.  The way and time they enter this world is partially up to you as the mother, but for the most part, their journey is just as great of a miracle as them.  Having Vanessa a phone call away during the weeks leading up to Hudson's arrival was comforting.  Having her by our side during 20+ hours of labor was a godsend (includes all the time spent walking the halls of the hospital to each push and everything in between).

Our Doula remained calm and upbeat the entire time and with each nurse/doctor labor checkup she was an incredible advocate.  Even if we didn't understand the conversation exchange, she quickly broke it down into laymen terms afterwards.  Her demeanor and knowledge were crucial to our success when the doctors believed we needed a C-Section.  Without her by my side I would have likely had a panic attack followed by a C-Section, which by the way, was not a part of the birth plan.  Thankfully she kept me calm and hopeful which worked to our advantage moments before the potential surgery when the nurse realized we made incredible progress and could have the baby naturally.

Taking a step back - most of our friends who knew we hired a Doula thought it was a bit of a hippie move on our part.  My response to that is mixed but overall think a better description of it is educated.  We wanted an informed birth experience. From here on out if we are blessed with more children we want Vanessa by our side for each of their arrivals.  The price we paid was the best money we've spent so far regarding 'baby products', even though it was more of an experience than product.  Think of it as the first investment in your child's life.  If its still too pricey what about having people chip in for the service as a baby shower gift?  I promise you won't regret it, especially if you live in Kansas City and can hire Vanessa. :)  You can check out her story on her story + website, Birthing Beyond.

Oh and for the record my mother and sister (Lindsey) were in the delivery room with us.  My stepdad Mark came by before driving my brother's college stuff to TX (a side story), and my brother Jake and mother-in-law spent some time in the room during labor.  Having our family there was also an amazing and partially spontaneous decision. While the family thing its not right for everyone, it was a perfect way to transition into parenthood and the greatest way to welcome our little miracle.

Other trivial recommendations for the looming Due Date/suggestions for your hospital bag include:

• Mama Stuff: a Pretty Pushers hospital gown which is a nice alternative to the oversized hospital gowns; a few nursing tanks - Bun and Cantloop are two favorites I found on Zulily; a comfy robe, yoga pants and quite possibly most important for breastfeeding mama's - some lanolin  nipple cream - I had Earth Mama and Medela handy.
• Baby Clothing: a few baby pj gown options - think sizes rather than style + gown for easy diaper changes (you never know how big, or tiny in our case, your baby will be)
• Essentials - shampoo, body wash, toothbrush, etc
• Hair stuff - hairbrush, no-dent hair ties and workout headband

The hospital will likely provide everything else.  I'll be posting a summary in the coming weeks of what I had handy post-delivery when we got home - all of which were key to a successful recovery AND helped Adam avoid some confusing/embarrassing drugstore purchases.

Also I must note the above post is obviously my opinion.  I know pregnancy and birth are touchy subjects and most people jump at the chance to let their opinion and ways known the moment a woman announces her pregnancy.  That is not my intention.  Additionally, for those of you wondering, I have been typing most of my post-pregnancy blog posts with baby Hudson laying on me.  Newborns sleep a lot and mine loves snoozing on me during the day.  I absolutely love our time together when he does but find I can't get much done besides stare at him (would do this all day if I could stay awake), read a book, watch TV, or write a blog post during these newborn naps.

Here is what we've looked like for the past twenty minutes. Our lovely post-morning walk with Mimi (my mom/Hudson's grandma) look.  Super model with a super tired baby, I know. Real beauty ignores the lack of make-up, desperate need for a shower, and bad habits like biting one's lip, right? :) I'm a real mom and am really proud of the learning experience/journey I am on.  Loving all the hiccups, smiles and cries along the way.

Almost forgot to show a few favorite photos of our first hours and days in the hospital.  After just a couple hours of sleep and a dentist appointment, my sister Lindsey was back at the hospital loving on Hudson and taking beautiful photos of him.  Thank you, Lindsey, we will cherish all the photos forever.  Oh and Hudson loves his Auntie Linds!